Tuesday 24 December 2019

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas or whatever your imaginary omnipotent deity's annual holiday is.





Friday 22 November 2019

7TV Open University Day

Another month and another 7TV event day. This time held again at the wonderful Whitworth Centre in Darley Dale near Matlock in the Peak District.

James the organiser put on a cracking event - primarily centred on promoting and teaching the game to new players (hence the Open University tag)

Although this game day was supposed to be super competitive, Karl at Crooked Dice provided a couple of £25 vouchers as proze support and Wargames Illustrated provided a magazine subscription prize.  These prizes would be given out to the player with the highest victory points, the wooden spoon winner and the most sporting player (voted for by the players)

Not having much time recently for hobby type shenanigans, I quickly put together a 40 ratings cast based roughly on the same Killbot cast (from the Apocalypse set) Wayne from Wargames Illustrated used in a previous event (which I decimated with my Mars Attacks cast)

My cast (using the Apocalypse set) was based on the Utgar Soulborg faction for the now defunct Heroscape game, and was quick and easy to put together as the miniatures are pre-painted and I had no time to build or paint any new models.

Utgars Soulborgs

Deathwalker 7000 - Mean Machine (Star)
Deathwalker 8000 - Warmachine (Extra)
Deathwalker 9000 - Warmachine (Extra)
Zettian Guard 001 - Killbot (Extra)
Zettian Guard 002 - Killbot (Extra)
Deathrazors 1,2 & 3 - Mongrels (Extras)

My Utgar Deathwalker Cast
Utgar, one of the five original generals and the overall evil general in Valhalla. A megalomaniac, he is fed by the will of selfish control and has plans to find and control all 15 wellsprings and enslave Valhall's inhabitants, as well as all other planets with sentient life.

His forces seek to expand his influence and dominate the universes and dimensions. Utgar is obsessive and holds himself superior and regards all other species as inferior pawns to be trampled. Using the wellsprings, he hopes to gain access to these other worlds.

With the recent acquisition of a wellspring on the Soulborgs home, Utgar launched a foray into the nearest dimension !




Each game would have a slight twist to the normal scenario rules.

Game 1 vs Shaun (Department Xcess) - The Battle.


Each Time a figure claims an objective they claim a VP as normal but also roll a D6 with the chances of either losing the rest of their turn, gaining a plot point, nothing happening or gaining an extra VP.

Utgar had sent his leading Soulborg general; Deathwalker 7000 through the wellspring and headed them towards dimension 002. Noting a disturbance in the timey wimey continuum, Dr Ugo Soloman deploys his Dept Xcess guards led by himself an Angel of Justice and a Time controller to intercept the Soulborgs.

Battle is soon joined between the two forces and both side trade blows until Soloman is in position to launch a Capture Bubble against Deathwalker 8000. A stillness comes over the battlefield as the eerily silent bubble glides towards the Warmachine. Unfortunately the calculations were slightly off and the bubble narrowly misses the Soulborg.

Seeing the advance of Deathwalker 7000 and his Zettian Guards, the Time Warrior uses his metal powers and psychically assaults Utgars general - damaging the Souldborg leader.

With the Soulborgs relentless advance, Department guards are mown down by the Warmachine's HMG's and a devastating Laser rifle shot from Deathwalker 9000 vapes Dr Soloman after he had been pinned down by a Deathrazor.

The Angel of Justice managed to weaken a Zettian but this was a Pyrrhic victory as Deathwalker 7000 attacked from the rear and took her out with a steely death grip.

Soulborg Win

Game 2 vs Darren (Cult of the T-Rex) - The Race


This game included the Maguffin (which give a D6 amount of VP's if found) the twist in this game was that each time an objective counter was claimed you roll a D6, on a 5+ the Maguffin is found. If no Maguffin is found when obectives are claimed, the last objective is the Maguffin.

After defeating Department Xcess, Deathwalker 7000 was free to advance around dimension 002 on his journey to claim it for Lord Utgar.

Coming across a Stone Circle, containing a strange blue box which emanated with Time Power, The Soulborg leader raced to intercept the valuable asset. Unfortunately he would also have to beat the Cult of the T-Rex who arrived at the same time!

Utgars forces were quicker on the uptake and charged forward (immediately finding the Maguffin with the first objective claimed) but the Cult magic flowed across the field and stopped the rest of the Soulborgs from gaining more ground.

A Cult spy immediately showed herself by the strange blue box but was quickly attacked by Deathrazors and then vaped into a red mist by Deathwalker 9000.

Col Kruger advanced on the Soulborg leader along with the Monster Egg. Something didn't feel right, Kruger quickly back off and then all was revealed. The Egg Jetpacked in-between Deathwalker 7000 and his Zettian Guards and then grew exponentially into a monstrous T-Rex (surprise-right!!) thrashing madly the massive Jurassic laid low the Zettians and the Soulborg leader, stunning them.

Kruger tried to capitalise on this situation but was unable to damage the Soulborgs enough to take them out and then fell victim himself to rabid assault from a Deathrazor.

With the rest of the Cult backing away under Utgar's relentless forces, Deathwalker 7000 recovered and with combined fire from the Warmachine's and himself - destroyed the T-Rex in a hail of gunfire and laser bolts.

Soulborg Win

Game 3 vs Matt (SWAT) - The Battle

Using the basic Battle scenario again, the twist involved a placing a miniature representing Sir Paddy Doore a leading Time Investigator. He would start by being placed in the middle of the board and on Stars or Co-Stars would be able to interact with him - to do so they must make a Mind test when in base to base. (he also cant be attacked and if the Mind test fails he wanders off 6" in a random direction)

At the end of the game the side that accompanies Sir Paddy gains 2 VP, if he is accompanied off the table that side gains 3 VP's. If he's still just wandering around then no extra VP's awarded.

Deathwalker 7000 is now on the last realm of dimension 002 and ready to claim it for Utgar, he has also been instructed to secure a leading Time Investigator which with sufficient torture and brain washing back in Valhalla could help towards the securing of more wellsprings.

Sir Paddy, although being a complete whack job eccentric, is also not stupid. With his insight he knows Utgar is coming for him and has arranged an ambush with a large SWAT force to take on the Soulborgs.

Deathwalker 7000 however has been upgraded due to his success in dimension 002 and upon entering range of Sir Paddy and his escorts - ignites his jetpack and snatches the Investigator right from under the nose of the Lead Officer.

In response the SWAT sniper on the gas station roof aims and seriously damages Deathwalker 8000. Although this now gave his position away and after being forced out of position by a Deathrazor, Deathwalker 9000 vapes him into a red mess.

SWAT officers advance and open up on the Soulborgs and watch in dismay as their rounds bounce harmlessly off their armoured bodies.

The relentless advance of Utgars forces massacre SWAT troops where they heroically stand and with the loss of a very brave SWAT Lieutenant (trying to hide by the yellowest mini!!) by multiple Deathrazor attacks, the remaining SWAT members retreat, leaving the Soulborg's to force Sir Paddy back into the malevolent hands of Utgar.

Soulborg Win

Three excellent games and 3 great opponents who I have not played before, but will look forward to hopefully playing again.

At the end of the day after results were toted it up - I had gained the most Victory Points over the three games and won a £25 voucher kindly provided by Karl from Crooked Dice.

Suitably spent on new 7TV minis.



Some of the Boards and Casts on display










Wednesday 25 September 2019

Iron Sky/Pulp Moon Nazis invade 7TV-Day 3 at Board in Brum


After a bit of a (long) hiatus I managed to get a bit of hobby time and got myself organised to attend the 3rd 7TV event day, held at Board in Brum

My friend Keiron has already written up the premise for this days event at Board in Brum (excellent venue by the way) on his  Cheaphammer Blog.

But to reiterate, Mike Strong who organised the event put together a nice narrative using the idea that Sydney Baron (the main 7TV Studios CEO) wanted to commission a load of new shows and had a sizeable budget to throw at them including more extras than usual and the hiring of some new filming locations, not used in his programmes before.

3 games would be played and really it did not matter who won, lost or what side gained the most wins. Overall it was all about having fun and playing games. However there were a few prizes for Best Cast, Best Opponent and Best Board (participants were encouraged to bring their own boards to compete on)

My Cast for the day was made up of various manufacturers Pulpy style Germans
My Evil Moon Nazis

Mecha Hitler (Star)
Gretal Von X (Co-Star)
Otto Von X (Mechanical Man)
FeldWebel Strauss (Stomtrooper Sergeant)
2 x Stormtroopers
2 x Jet Truppen
Dr Vogelbaum (Scientist)
Werewolf (Beastman Howler)
Werehound (Beastman Growler)
Oberst Mannerheim (VIP)



Some of the boards:



Pirate Island - Best Board






Some of the Casts:

Best Cast - Manic Clowns



Keirons Horde
Simons Beast Horde
Tavis's Pirates of the Dread Seas


Episode 1 - Winterly's Heat vs Chris

Lady Winterly had information that Moon Nazis had invaded her secluded country domain and sent out her Horses and Hounds to track them down. In the blazing heat Mecha Hitler suddenly found his forces on the defensive trying to stop his VIP from being taken out. A mix up in castling location A mix up in castling location found Otto Von X and a Huntsman switching places.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

This enabled the massed firepower of the Moon Nazis to take down the luckless Hunter and Otto ended up being pinned for the rest of the episode by a pack of snarling hounds. 

The Were creatures with their thick fur struggled in the heat and could not get into a favourable position to charge the Horse and Hounds and could only snarl menacingly as Winterly's Hunt jumped obstacles and used their horses speed to ride down luckless Nazi troopers.                                                                          
Even the advantage of the Jetruppen firing down from the church tower albeit taking out some Riders and hounds couldn't swing the episode in Mecha Hitlers favour. 

Lady Winterly using her Arcana abilities dragged Oberst Mannerheim out of his hiding place and using her considerable femine whiles, stole the scene and rode down the now prone VIP. Using her Unholy Tome clutched so tightly her knuckles were as white as her namesake, Mannerheim vanished from the screen! 

Despite a hail of gunfire and Mecha Hitler charging into personal combat, the Lady was not for falling and the episode ended with the Moon Nazis withdrawing and Lady Winterly's ethereal laughter following them.

Episode 2 - Raiders of the Lost Reich (Co-Directed by Keiron)

In a controversial move to see if viewing figure could be improved, Sydney Barron tried a crossover episode using the experimental move that both casts would be represented by "Bad Guys".                                                                                                                                                                         Pitting Hordaks Horde (originally seen in Princess She to Eternia) against Mecha Hitlers Moon Nazis in a time old favourite Smash and Grab Heist program would either be a revelation or a complete flop on the Rotten Tomatoes scale.

With the 4th Reich troops spread out around the desert town defending its valuable assets Hordak marshalled his followers and with a supernatural speed managed to take possession of some of the assets before the Nazis had time to react.

However Hordak, himself in possession of some lucrative advertising items slipped of screen and wasn't seen again for the rest of the program (which caused his director getting a sever tongue lashing from the producer)

Failing due to the lack of his dominate leadership, the Horde began to act irrationally. Catra and Scorpia saw red and attacked the Nazi defenders without direction and afteran action packed scene were taken out easily. Scorpia fell to a barrage of Stick Grenades hurled from the Stormtroopers and Catra was mauled and declawed by the Werehounds.                                                                                                                                                                                                   On the other side of the town Grizlor tried to advance with his Mechanical Shocktroopers, unfortunately they walked into a hail of fire from Gretel and Mecha Hitler.In a last ditch effort, Hordak's, Slime Monster grabbed some more valuables and slowly ambled off screen. However it finally fell and the as the credits rolled Dr Vogelbaum was heard to whisper "Success is a state of mind, Herr Hordak".

Episode 3 - If I only had a Photograph of you vs Tavis (unfortunately ended up with boring pics of this game)

This was the Last Episode of a long day of filming and Mecha Hitler and his 4th Reich Moon Nazis were trying to regain some lost, scandalous and scintillating Polaroids of Eva Braun and himself in their younger years.                                                                                                                      Trying to thwart his chivalrous efforts (Hitler, chivalrous?????) were a motley pirate band of Shiva cultists who would use these pictographs for their own nefarious ends.The cameras started to roll and instantly a couple of Co-Starts found themselves off their mark!Gretal and the Pirate Co-Star had had their staring marks changed and this resulted in Gretal off screen and in a massive Diva huff she stormed off to her dressing room.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Utilising his good fortune the Pirates Co-Star moved out of the woods and flailed wildly at the now shocked Stormtroops who suddenly had a big blue beast in their midst. Reacting immediately, Mecha Hitler ordered his Jettruppen to swoop over to the stone pyramid and opened up on the Pirates Lizard Beast, one Jettrup was nearly downed in the return fire but the Lizard Beast was taken out.

15 minutes on screen would be his only claim to fame. 

The Wulfen used their supernatural speed and managed to grab some of the loose Polaroids getting blown around the battlefield and scampered away from the advancing Pirates. A very tense game of cat and mouse began with the director trying to instil some action into the scenes.                                                                                                                                                                         The Pirate Captain suddenly see's her opening and begins an action packed scene, charging across the field using her grappling hook and flies into Mecha Hitler, knocking him down but even with the best choreographed swordplay couldn't take out the Moon Nazi Commander. The Jettruppen leap across the sky (on some very rickety wire contraption) and mow down the Pirate band in the woods. A shout was heard from the Producer "Maguffin" reminding the casts (who never read scripts properly) about the most important Polaroid. Dr Vogelbaum checked his smock pocket and found he had already picked it up.

The credits started to roll. Filming was done for the day and Frauline Braun's modesty would be intact and the racy pics might be destroyed......that's another Story/Program/Episode.

Cracking event, well organised, friendly and I had three great opponents.

7TV is an awesome game and encompasses so many great Genres, there should be something for everyone.